Scientists Propose A Doomsday Sperm Bank In The Moon's Tubes

Scientists Propose A Doomsday Sperm Bank In The Moon's Tubes

The moon has been treated somewhat unfairly by us.

From gawking at it through a lenses for centuries, to trying to nuke it, and plodding all over it and leaving our garbage just lying around. For a world that's grey and uneventful, it's been through a surprising amount.

Now, in yet another insult to the moon by our oppressive planet, scientists are looking to send a load of... load... to the moon.

At the annual Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) Aerospace Conference earlier this week, personnel from the University of Arizona presented a report called "Lunar Pits and Lava Tubes for a Modern Ark."

While this sounds very scientific, or even a mashup of Star Wars and Indiana Jones, the gist of the proposal is building a lunar sperm bank under the moon's surface for safe keeping. 


A modular robotic base inside a lunar lava tube and powered using renewable energy.


"But, why?" *in our most curious Ryan Reynolds voice*

The team from UA believe over 6.7 million sperm and egg samples from all life on Earth should be stored on the moon in case of a global catastrophe. The moon houses around 200 tubes 80-100 metres deep where lava used to flow and protect against dramatic temperature changes, asteroids, and radiation.

The insurance policy for Earth's critters (including us) isn't necessarily a new concept. In 2019, ay back in pre-pan times, scientists proposed that women only crewss on long-term missions should pack semen in sperm bank baggage, just in case we needed to populate new planets. In the same study, they sent up tadpoles from 10 human Earth-donors that all survived the space ride, proving our little swimmers are resilient indeed.

Back on the moon, the sperm and eggs would be cryogenically frozen until needed in the aftermath of say; super volcanic eruptions, nuclear war, asteroid impact, epidemics, climate change, solar storms or events such as global drought.

Elevator "shafts" would be installed for retrieving and testing and “... save them until the tech advances to then reintroduce these species — in other words, save them for another day,” says lead author Jekan Thanga said. 

Since the freezers will be too cold for humans to enter, robotic aids will need to navigate the tubes and play lunar jizz butlers. Even so, metal robots could freeze up from the subzero tube walls. 

The answer?

Developing robots that move around using quantum levitation, that would allow them to maneuver through the delicate, cold arks without touching the ground.



A lunar jizz dish concept that could be housed in ancient lava tubes on the moon.


In the last 50 years, Earth has lost two-thirds of its wildlife population due to climate change, with extreme drought conditions and massive wildfires, and we've already faced years of varying degrees of looming threats of nuclear war. We're in the middle of a global pandemic. It goes without saying that some of these doomsday scenarios are looking pretty convincing at this point. Thanga calls an off-planet ark a "modern insurance policy" against the wild unpredictability of our home planet.

The presentation didn't go over who will get to donate, or whether they'll be looking for donors to subject their sperm and eggs to a space trip. But one day, we could look up at the heavens, gaze upon the moon hanging in the night sky, and say, there's cum up there.

Who should have dibs on sending their doodle-based DNA to the moon?
Who's eggs should dare to be scrambled on the ride to the moon?

Let us know in comments and please share with a friend to help spread ARSE!


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